Plateau is a 4 letter word.

Hi my name is Gillian Trouble Andrews. I am a lifetime dieter.


When I started to get into shape on January 12th this year, I didn't really know what to expect. When I first started going to the gym, I was always a couple steps away from a panic attack. It was the first time I hadn't relied on a safety net though. I started on a Saturday though. It may not seem like a big deal but I was always the girl who was changing her life on Monday. So when I woke up that morning, I thought to myself that if I started today, I would have an extra two days of training that would make Monday all the more bearable.


Well its Monday.

I find myself at a bit of a plateau since January. I didn't lose a ton of weight since the beginning of the year, about 10-15 pounds. My weight seems to fluctuate fairly regularly so I don't really know where I'm at. I know my weight does not define me. I can run two miles under 25 minutes. I am almost at the intermediate level for the female deadlift standards in my weight class. I easily work out four hours a week. So why do I let the numbers 1, 9, & 8 define how I feel about myself?

Here is the thing, I let all the progress I make in the gym become undermined when I eat. I hope you know I'm writing this while polishing off a beautiful Alaskan Amber Ale. Food has been my crutch for so long, it is the hardest thing to change. I eat in secret which makes it all the worse. I look at the fridge like I used to look at weight racks and treadmills. Where I could see just an opportunity just to make food to sustain my body or even make it better, I freeze. While peering in to the fridge this morning, there were tons of eggs, milk, strawberries, milk, and whole grain cereal. What did I go for? The sausage Chicago style pan pizza. I went to the gym and killed it and to celebrate, I went and got frozen yogurt. I went to Sam's and stocked up on a fruit and veg galore, but what am I drinking? Craft beer.

I want to be intentional about how I fuel my body. This isn't about a number. Unfortunately, that jerk of a number on the scale is a fairly good indication for me at where my health is. I could easily lose 15% body fat. Easily. I want to not rely on making jokes at my own expense for being the fat kid. I want to feel confident enough to date. I my want my little sister to not be worried about me. I want the little girl I mentor through BBBS to know the strength of a female. I want to not be afraid of what I could do if I actually tried.

So here it is. I promise myself to be good to myself through nutrition, exercise, and love. I promise to take care of myself and not go back on my word. I promise myself to remember that even know I'm not superhuman, I always have the opportunity to be super.